“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is when we all dwell together.”
-Psalm 133
One of the strongest elements of Reform Judaism is its welcoming of interfaith families. In any given Reform synagogue, one could find as many as 50% of members in interfaith relationships, marriages, or partnerships. We at Temple Israel understand that, with Jewish families, no one should be shunned or felt to be an outsider. All are welcome to our congregation and should know that they will be greeted with smiles as they walk through the door.
Below are some FAQ that might bring more information and comfort:
I am Jewish; my partner is not. Are we welcome to participate at Temple Israel?
Yes! Today most Reform congregations have a large number of interfaith families that participate in all aspects of temple life, and Temple Israel is no exception. You can learn about Judaism, participate in worship services, enroll your children in religious school and be a part of our community.
I am Jewish; my partner is not. Are we welcome as a couple to attend worship services at Temple Israel?
Yes! The prophet Isaiah said: “My house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.” (Isaiah 56:7) From the very earliest days, some individuals who lived with the Jewish community were not themselves Jewish.
I am not Jewish. Are there parts of Temple Israel’s service reserved only for Jews?
You are welcome at all services in our synagogue and, of course, at any lifecycle events to which you are invited (for example, a wedding). Although each congregation has its own specifications about who performs certain roles, you are welcome to participate in everything that is done or read by the whole congregation at a service. Of course, certain parts of a Jewish service speak only of Jewish theology (such as the Sh’ma), and parts reserved for individual Jews (such as reading from the Torah). Those aspects aside, Temple Israel holds the most importance to encouraging our members and guests to choose participation in aspects of a service in which they feel comfortable. No more, no less.
I don’t read Hebrew. How can I possibly follow the service?
Temple Israel, like most Reform congregations in North America, use both English and Hebrew in our services and provides English translations for many of the Hebrew prayers and readings. If you wish to participate in reading the Hebrew aloud, transliterations (a phonetically written version) for common prayers in the service are available in our siddur (prayerbook) Mishkan T’filah. It is also perfectly acceptable to read only the parts of the service with which you feel comfortable or to just sit and listen. If you need help finding the place in the prayer book, simply ask one of our members nearby. Temple Israel members want visitors to feel welcome and at ease during services.
What is the best way to learn more about Judaism? I don’t want to take a “conversion” class.
Temple Israel occasionally offers a Judaism adult education course, taught by the rabbi. This class serves members who wish to learn (or relearn) the basics of Judaism, and non-Jews who wish to pursue conversion or simply add to their understanding of the religion. The class covers such topics as Jewish ideas about God, Torah and other Jewish texts, how to celebrate the holidays and Jewish life-cycle events.
Will I be pressured to convert if we join Temple Israel?
Temple Israel, and the entire Jewish community, takes delight in welcoming those who choose to explore or embrace Judaism as their own religion. Our Sages however, have made it very clear that a conversion is not valid if it results from any pressure or coercion. You are welcome at Temple Israel as a friend of the Jewish people. You do not have to convert.
As an interfaith couple, we wonder what choices we have in planning our wedding.
The issues involved in this question are complex. We encourage you to meet with our rabbi to discuss your options at length. . Our rabbi will officiate at a wedding between a Jew and a non-Jew under certain circumstances. However, whether our rabbi will officiate your wedding, he is eager to meet with you to discuss your individual situation. Whatever choice you make about your wedding, past or future, you are welcome at Temple Israel. As a member of the Reform Movement, Temple Israel is committed to providing a welcoming atmosphere, as well as programming that embraces and supports interfaith couples as they make and live out their Jewish choices.
If a Jew marries a non-Jew, what are the children?
Traditional Jewish law says that membership in the Jewish people is matrilineal, that is, passed through the mother. Therefore, if the mother is a Jew, the children are automatically Jewish, too; but if the father is the Jewish parent, the children are not Jewish regardless of the practice in the family home. However, in 1983, after much study and discussion, the Central Conference of American Rabbis, the rabbinic body of the Reform Movement, ruled that children with one Jewish parent (mother or father) will be recognized as Jews if they are raised and educated exclusively as Jews. In Reform Judaism, Jewish identity is a decision the children’s parents make, preferably before the couple’s first child is born. For more information about patrilineal descent and how it affects your family, we encourage you to contact the rabbi.
What about the non-Jewish grandparents? Can they be part of my Jewish child’s life?
Yes! A child who knows his or her grandparents is a fortunate child. All grandparents are welcome to attend services and events at Temple Israel. Shabbat dinner at home on Friday nights also constitutes a special family time, including grandparents, who can share family stories, customs and jokes. A child’s relationship with a grandparent should be treasured and nurtured.
[adapted from ReformJudaism.org]
