Bar/Bat Mitzvah Training

Approximately one year before a young man’s 13th birthday, or a young woman’s 12^th  birthday, training begins for them to become a B Mitzvah (Bar or Bat Mitzvah: Son or Daughter of the Commandments), although most of our young woman wait until they turn 13 as well. Becoming B Mitzvah is a rite of passage, a rung in the ladder of lifecycle events within the life of a Jew. The rabbi holds the highest expectations of our students, understanding the Reform Movement’s vision of the B Mitzvah ceremony.

Our students are expected to lead most of a Saturday morning shacharit service, read or chant that week’s Torah portion and Haftarah portion, and give a thoughtful D’var Torah. The rabbi is sensitive to the needs of our students and will craft the service to match the skillset, special needs and personality of each child. Please let the rabbi know if your child has special needs that we should be aware of, so that the service can be adapted to meet the needs of the child and to fulfill the service requirements. Our goal at Temple Israel is to make this a meaningful day for everyone, and we are always willing to make changes to fit the needs of each child.

The rabbi will provide an outline and a study book for the B Mitzvah student. This outline and book will be the most important tools for the B Mitzvah ceremony.  In addition, the rabbi will hold periodic meetings with the family as their child’s big day approaches to determine if any family members  wish to participate in some aspect of the ceremony. These duties may include opening and closing of the ark, assisting with the undressing and dressing of the Torah, and being called to the Torah for the aliyah. The family may wish to present the child with a special Tallit by a special member of the family. All of these aspects of the day will be discussed as the training progresses.

In addition to learning the Torah portion and Haftarah, the student has an opportunity to participate in family learning projects called the 13 Mitzvot Projects. These will be fun activities that may involve the entire family, community or just the student. The rabbi will discuss these family projects when the parents and student meet to choose a date for the ceremony. The student will be expected to complete the 13 Mitzvot projects prior to their ceremony.

The B Mitzvah ceremony typically occurs on a date mutually chosen by the family and the rabbi. The service will typically be on a Saturday morning, beginning at 10:00 am. A typical B Mitzvah service lasts approximately 90-120 minutes.

At Temple Israel we allow two to three aliyot for the Torah service, plus the aliyah for the B Mitzvah student. A standard aliyah is (minimum) 5-7 verses. The first aliyah is typically reserved may be done by Grandparents or other family members. The second aliyah is typically reserved for the parents or a sibling who has completed his or her B Mitzvah. The final aliyah is typically reserved for the child becoming a B Mitzvah. These are only recommendations, however.

Our Temple includes a special part to any B Mitzvah, wherein grandparents and parents, who are present, pass the Torah from one to the next until the Torah reaches the child, to symbolize the passing of Torah from generation to generation.

In addition to the aliyot, the parents and B Mitzvah are may honor other friends or family members by assigning them to the following aspects of the service:

1. Serve as the hagbah to lift up Torah – We ask that this honor be given to a person who is strong enough to lift a Torah above their head.
2. Serve as the galilah to roll, wrap and dress the Torah. Multiple people, including small children, may have this honor.
3. Prayers – Often family members or friends who wish to contribute by sharing in the reading of a prayer or reading a prayer in Hebrew or English in place of the B Mitzvah. We ask only that this prayer reading does not substitute for the B Mitzvah’s basic requirements.

As a Reform Congregation, we sing the common melodies of the Reform Movement, i.e., those sung at most Reform synagogues. These can include the works of Debbie Friedman, Craig Taubman, Dan Nichols, etc. Please let the rabbi know if your family prefers specific melodies.

 

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Temple Israel encourages families to print programs for the guests during the child’s service. This program may include the Torah portion, the Haftarah, and any other personally significant readings, prayers, or lyrics to a special song. It can also provide translations to English from the Hebrew or transliterations for the Hebrew, as well as the names of honorees in the service.

For more detailed information about B Mitzvah preparation, please contact the rabbi.